Disposable Teen
by Cinammon Sweet
Summary: Sweet numbing pain, for Echizen he'd feel it each and every time. So much, he'd dismissed every worried glance, and just let his friends watch as he was slowly consumed from the inside out. Fuj's love was that big, though Echizen didn't care./Thrill Pair


**A/N: **Well, hello there! I am officially in the middle of my IGCSE's and I'm exhausted. I've got swimming lessons and hockey lesson and I have to study and my sister's birthday is coming up. Nevertheless, I was able to tear my neurons off past papers and other shit long enough to write this up. The title, Disposable Teen, comes from Marilyn Manson's 'Disposable Teens'. Doesn't have much to do with the meaning of the song in itself... but, yeah, I like his songs.

WARNING:

- Not for the faint of heart. Contains explicit violence and sex. Bordering on torture, cause, really, I was in a pretty fucked up mood when I wrote this.

- Fuji is the one that is being screwed with, if that makes any difference to you or makes you not want to read it.

- Last but not least, OOC-ness present, because of the things exposed before.

- I am sorry if it's difficult to follow, but I tried to put it as clear as possible. It only changes time line (past/present) if it says so, and all changes are accounted for and marked.

_Disclaimer: _I do not, key word being NOT, own Prince of Tennis, its characters or references, and I don't plan of making any profit out of the mention of said things I already said were not mine but Konomi Takeshi's.

* * *

**Disposable Teen**

By: Cinammon Sweet

* * *

Present

He knew, from the very beginning, yet the burning sensation in his body wouldn't leave him alone.

Fuji Syuusuke suspected from the start, but he wouldn't acknowledge it.

Why? He asked himself the same for countless nights. He wondered and wondered, but until recently he never got an answer.

Now he knew why. He didn't want to see it because he wanted to enjoy the little time he had left. He did it because he did not want to doubt the other teen. He did it... he did it because he loved him.

He _loved_ Echizen Ryoma. An the boy wouldn't even blink an eye before leaving him behind.

He saw it in those golden-olive eyes when he asked the young man for a chance. He saw the uncertainty -no, the detachment- in them. But he chose to ignore it and start the charade that after a while consumed his existence whole.

_Not everything is at it seems._

…_I missed you._

_Please leave your name and a message. Beep._

_I love you, Syuusuke._

* * *

Past

Not a week later, they were the perfect couple, always smiling and caring, everyone wanted to be them. Even the regulars stared with as healthy a jealousy as they could at the retreating backs of the newly formed couple, from their entwined fingertips to the way Fuji rested his head over Echizen's head, content.

**Fuji Syuusuke**

Some people said that they had never seen the sadist look happier, smiling for real and opening his eyes in enjoyment. They were surprised by the fact that the indifferent boy could change Fuji so much, the brown-haired teen wasn't even pulling pranks on people, it seemed he had eyes only for him.

This could in no way be considered a bad thing, except that it was.

**Echizen Ryoma**

On the other hand, Katsuo told Kachirou how Echizen looked different when he was with Fuji. Both of them were talking inside a burger joint from where said couple had just left. The latter nodded, but sombrely, he said he wasn't sure if it was for the best, and they agreed. They noticed that most people thought otherwise, even saying that Fuji was the one to 'melt the cocky brat's icy heart'. They would comment how the scowling face was now softer, how he _smiled_ sometimes.

As two of the people that knew the kid the most, they weren't so sure.

The truth was that things were more screwed up than anyone would've guessed. When leaving school in the afternoon, they would hold hands and talk in hushed tones, but the moment they were out of sight, Echizen would withdraw his hand and keep silent, walking always two steps ahead of the older prodigy, cap down over his eyes. Yet still, that part of the tensai that omitted the hesitance in those eyes that first day, would smile and reason with him, 'he was being shy' or 'you did not expect him to be all lovey-dovey, right?' Normally, they would walk to Echizen's house, have some tea, play tennis and do homework. It was a routine they kept for about a month, only breaking it a couple of times to go and play on the street tennis courts, something that didn't really bother the blue-eyed teen. He preferred to stay with him until the next day, seeing as he was living alone in that huge house, both his parents died in an accident and his cousin was never home anymore, not that he ever talked about it.

No matter where they went or what they did or how tired they were, though, they would _always _end up somehow in the beautiful teen's bedroom, where he would hug him, kiss him. Fuji felt confused at first, independent of how happy he was, but once again he let his fogged-up mind throw his worries in that little box that was hidden somewhere deep in his mind.

Because of this, it became routine for them. He never asked, yet he knew that if he did, Echizen wouldn't answer. It was as if he turned into another person. During the day, if there were no people around, he was distant, and as much as he tried, apathy was all that Fuji got for his efforts. He was cold and blunt, which troubled Fuji's soul a couple of times. But every single time, every afternoon he decided he was going to confront his boyfriend, he couldn't even open his mouth. Actually, he found it rather occupied in responding to the heated kiss Echizen initiated, and ended, Echizen was always the one in control. No matter how many times he asked, how many tricks he pulled, or any means he resorted to, Echizen always won, to the point that after a while he stopped trying to gain the upper hand. And it was a good thing that he did, for after making sure he knew exactly who he belonged to -Echizen Ryoma-, even going into using violence to get the point across, the younger male would rest his head in his companion's shoulder and drape and arm around the clothed stomach. He caressed his cheek and whispered sweet nothings into his chest, the vibrations sending chills up his spine. This changes left him speechless, and left him wanting more. Craving. He needed to keep this young man by his side forever, if not he didn't know what he'd do. The thrill was just unavoidable, inevitable as the bruises he was bound to find adorning his body the next morning.

He had become addicted to his smell, his touch. Everything he ever wanted lay forgotten as he thought of ways to chain the boy to him, without imprisoning him. Because the day Echizen felt trapped would be the day he would leave the tensai, and it shattered his heart to even think about it.

During the day he questioned this thoughts, thoroughly, how could he be willing to give up everything to somebody who only held his hand to keep up with expectations, and apart from that, not even touch him or spare him a glance except when strictly necessary.

But there were always the nights. It was during this nights that he berated himself for being so absorbed in himself and not paying attention to the body beside him. He spent the whole day thinking and musing, and was never actually with his boyfriend. He felt so bad.

He didn't deserve him. He never said anything, yet Fuji could feel it in his voice. That tiny voice during the nights that flowed like silk from his lips, stabbing him with such a force that he cried for hours after Echizen fell asleep. And as he looked at the angelic face, perfect porcelain features, he swore over and over again never to do it again. He felt miserable when the next day repeated itself in almost the exact same way, not even flinching as the smooth voice of his beloved abused him over and over again.

* * *

Present

_You won't look at me at all. Don't you love me anymore?_

…_I'm so glad I met you. You always make me happy._

_What's that frown on your face. You're always lost in thought._

_Do you hate me?_

_I love you, Syuusuke._

Once again, Fuji's whole body quivered in response to the memory. But he couldn't keep them from resurfacing. The way those eyes shone when he said he loved him. Was it all a lie?

All those tender touches, all the adorable pouts, the random hugs, were they _all _fake?

He refused to believe it, but still a more rational side of his mind reminded him of the pain. And he could feel it again, spreading through his chest like a flame fanned by the wind. Sweet numbing pain, for Echizen he'd feel it each and every time. So much, he'd dismissed every worried glance, and just let his friends watch as he was slowly consumed from the inside out.

Only now he realized how he had been manipulated. Alternating between loving him and chastising him, Echizen was obviously driving him in a steady pace towards insanity. Fuji remembered too well the guilt, which he now knew was unjustified. Because it was Echizen who stayed away from him, it was him who wouldn't even meet his eyes in school (1). And it was him who at night, after loving him and being the perfect boyfriend, shoved it in his face and put the blame on him. He was a fool to fall in such a trap, but he couldn't fathom it happening another way. Every time, this psychological torture brought him to a state of desperation, just another act in Echizen's show. He was dangling from a thread held between the boy's fingers, only to find himself not caring at all.

Not even when Echizen let go.

* * *

Past

The day came when the fair boy suddenly wanted more, or rather, he didn't want anymore. To obtain that, he decided to break Fuji Syuusuke, to burn him until not even the ashes were left. To tear him apart as a shredder would a piece of paper, until the only thing left were unrecognisable pieces. It would be a slow process, which in turn made the wounds deeper, until there was no turning back. This was the day when, for good or ill, the force of their choices would finally bring them over the edge, right into the abyss that lay before them...

Fuji knew something was amiss when his lover didn't hold his hand at school, and when he went to have lunch alone on the rooftop. He was usually never out of character, he stuck to the loving charade. Once again, the sense of imminent doom loomed above his head, and once again he ignored it. Instead, he focused all of his energy in pleasing his insatiable beloved, which seemed to be the only thing in his mind nowadays. He thought hard and raked his mind for anything he could've done to upset him, but he came blank, as he did every single time. But Echizen deserved it, for all the pain Fuji put him through daily, he was that fragile and that precious.

He went to the rooftop and was rewarded by a not-really-asleep-but-eyes-closed Echizen. Gods, he was so perfect it made his heart ache and, shockingly, something further south. Was it his idea or was Echizen's shirt and pants tighter? When the boy in question lifted himself up and stared at Fuji with that look on his eyes, his breath was caught in his throat: he was right, the uniform the boy was wearing was at least one size too small, his hair was messy in a very good way. But what made him stir was the predatory glint in those olive-golden orbs: the raw passion and the lust pooling like molten lava, burning every fibre in his being.

He gulped and took a deep breath.

"You okay, Ryoma?"

"Yes."

He felt like stuttering and flushing like a teenage girl but his pride wouldn't allow it. Instead, he reciprocated the look with the same desires in mind.

"You need anything?"

"Oh, Syuusuke" came the husky response. Echizen walked right up to him and pressed himself flush against Fuji's body, that was in turn thrust into the now closed door.

"I want - no, I _need_ you, Syuusuke. To pound into you so hard you'll black out from the pai- pleasure" Obviously, Fuji did not hear the small slip-up, because if not he doubted the prodigy would be panting and pressing his arousal against Echizen's half-hard length.

"When." The brown-haired teen breathed out after a while, when he got his thoughts together

"Mm, tonight." With that, he pushed his hips so that his left hipbone was pushed into Fuji's sensitive length, then made sure to let a low, shaky moan right beside his boyfriend's ear.

Fuji had his eyes scrunched shut, his mind and body in overdrive. He felt as though he'd ran a marathon without actually moving from his spot. He was shivering even in the mid-summer heat, not out of cold, he noticed. No, he was shaking in anticipation and need, a pre-historical urge to relieve the knots in his body, -something he had never felt before, the clench of his muscles, and the heat radiating from into his body.

A heat that was now gone. That made him come back to reality immediately. Sure enough, Echizen was nowhere in sight, and the bell for his next classes had just signalled he was late for English.

Not that he would or could concentrate on whatever the teacher tried to teach him. His genius self was dumbfounded, his brilliant mind had shut down like a light bulb that had just overheated. It didn't seem capable of registering anything besides what happened on the rooftop, the feeling, the way his body was aching for the touch, _Echizen's_ touch. He suddenly wondered what it would be like to be pushed open, stretched beyond his body's limit, to be filled by the boy, to be one with him, joined in the most intimate way. He shivered at the mere thought of it, and while it confused him and set off his suspicion alarms, he ignored it. He was so used to doing it that by now he needed not to even think about it, which proved to be a very dangerous thing.

After a lot of arguing with about five inner selves, and a lot of going back and forth, he decided he was once again putting his thoughts on himself rather than on his lithe companion. Once again, he was thinking about his own satisfaction, about his desires and only his own. What did Echizen want? Did he want this as much as he did?

Or was he just confused, his young mind still not clearly knowing what he wanted.

_No._ That was not true and he knew it. As much as it pained him to admit it, he was the only virgin in this relationship. The younger male had said he lost his at age 14 to Kevin Smith, _Kevin Smith_ of all people, and he had since then maintained a disturbingly active sexual life. At first it bothered him, he was such a young man, but like every other tiny fault, every single little flaw, he forgot about it and embraced the revelations, just because his love was that big. The fact that Echizen had finally made a move to take their relationship to a new level surprised him but he in no way reproached it. He was more than glad. In fact, if he needed to give his body, his soul, the one and only thing he had control over -his _virginity- _in order to keep the fickle kid by his side, he'd spread his legs like a pleading whore any time of the day. So he anxiously paced mentally, counting the minutes until the the bell signalled the end of classes, and the beginning of tennis practice.

He was nervous, no denying it, and even the tensai in him didn't know what exactly to expect. He had the impression Echizen would be quite a partner. Aggressive and brutal sex, like a machine working on overload. Yet there was always that other side of him, the one that normally surfaced at nights, when Fuji could easily see the tender caresses and the sweet kisses during their lovemaking. The thrill of the unknown was making itself known through he cloud of self-induced arousal, and he wondered why he had never thought of sex before. But like every other aspect of his life that was not directly linked to the pretty seductress in a hot teenage body, he dismissed is as irrelevant.

Though no one could really tell the difference, he was anxious, nervous, and excited as he entered the clubroom. As he expected, his little lover was right in the middle of changing shirts, a pretty mundane action that turned into a mini striptease the moment their eyes locked. Obviously, nobody else noticed, they were too busy on other things, and it was subtle. After all, they _were_ prodigies. Afterwards, Echizen walked towards the courts, but not before smirking widely and covertly brushing the back of his hand against the partial hardness concealed in Fuji's pants. Luckily for him, his eyes were closed, if not people would've speculated and assumed things, seeing the glazed over and faraway look in the deep blue eyes. His mind now full of flashing scenarios, each dirtier than the last, he scurried to change without even thinking about it, then hurried to the courts: the faster they were over, the faster he got to please Echizen.

As he expected, practice was a blur, with only a few things remaining in Fuji's memory. For instance, the way Echizen would swish seductively his hips when running laps ahead of him, or the way he whispered lewd comments in a sexy voice when he walked past him. Or even better, the way those eyes stared hungrily up at him, eyes unreadable as ever, except for the lust that had somehow broken through the wall of apathy in them. And as the love-sick fool he was, he just deduced it was because, Alas!, Echizen felt the same way he did, had the same urges and desires that he had, and that was probably the only thing that he thought about until Tezuka dismissed them.

They were now going up the stairs, towards the bedroom to 'study'. There was no one home, Fuji didn't expect otherwise. He was feeling restless and fidgety, just like those girls in the films his sister secretly watched, chick flicks with blushing high school adolescents. And like one, he wasn't ready, not for this, and he only hoped his little lover would take that into consideration.

Unfortunately for him, there was none of that lovemaking bullshit in the air at the moment, only the need for a harsh fuck and release. And that's exactly what he got. Echizen didn't waste any time on foreplay, just threw the thin body against the mattress and straddled his still dormant front, swinging his hips wildly up and down, right to left, forwards and backwards, until the pain of the material rubbing against his length and the pleasure of the action itself brought him to the hardness that the younger man desired..

Fuji didn't recall much of what happened, he had random flashes, of pain, of lust, of a powerful numbness that made him feel as if he was seeing all this happening from somewhere far away: it was too unreal, too unfathomable to believe that such a sweet, loving act could bring so much pain and satisfaction, all in one firm, single thrust that broke him for the first time. It was the first time he had felt so much... love for the adult child on top of him, all the suffering forgotten.

He remembered feeling tears running down his cheeks and the distinctive, metallic and bitter-sweet smell of blood, but what he remembered vividly, that which he never forgot, was the image of Echizen, arched up, eyes scrunched shut as they had been from the beginning, as he climaxed, bringing him up and down with him. He still couldn't grasp the whole meaning of what had just happened. He lied there, afraid it had all been a dream, only to be awakened by the sounds of the soft snores coming from the cold body besides him.

Only the next morning when he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, did the weight of the recent events crash down on him; he was no longer a virgin. Echizen had already left when he awoke, and he was going to get a shower, when a glimmer of purple caught his eye. Furiously contrasting with the marble-white skin, where purplish-black hand prints on his hips, fingernail bites on his shoulders, and with a slight nausea he took in the dried up thin trail of blood that came from within him towards his knees, though it stopped half-way down his thigh.

Between blows, pain and blood and a lot of screaming, he, Fuji Syuusuke, had lost his virginity. He hugged his knees to his chest as he sat down on the bathtub floor, the hot water painfully reminded him of the injuries, and he cried, desperately, and happy at the same time. Echizen had lost control, and though it was painful, he felt he had accomplished something. He had broken through the apathetic boy's façade, and that made him so incredibly happy, which is why he never noticed the way he was slowly losing consciousness, the lack of food and the abuse taking a toll on his body.

Between the fog of emotions, only one thought crossed his clouded mind before he blacked out...

_I love you, Ryoma._

* * *

Present

_Aah!... Beg for it. Plead for me to let you come. Tell me how much you want my cock inside of you._

_That's right. Squirm and cry like the worthless slut you are._

_You are mine, Syuusuke._

_So beautiful. No one else can give you pleasure, no one but me... Because no one loves you more than I do._

Fuji grabbed his hair and pulled, hard. It hurt so much. Each memory, each worse than the last, each gripping at his heart, slowly bringing him down. He was lost, he had nothing. Without Echizen he was nothing at all, just empty bones in a worthless body. Even if he was raped again and again, except for the fact he was willing. Even after the first times, he reached for Echizen, begged him to take him countless times, just to please him. His body was no longer his anymore, just as his heart. They both belonged to the emerald-tinted black-haired teen who took delight in inflicting pain over the once-upon-a-time prodigy. He took pleasure out of breaking him, brutally, then make love to him in the most soft way, kissing away his tears. He prepared thoroughly the previously bloodied hole, and caressed his thighs while he waited for Fuji to accommodate to the familiar intruder. He would then proceed to thrust slowly, keeping a leisured pace while he leaned over and whispered words of comfort, promises of eternal love. Finally, he would rest his head atop Fuji's chest, kiss him one last time an fall asleep, leaving Fuji to his thoughts, fully knowing the prodigy was steadily self-destructing.

_I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad. I love you so much, please don't ever leave me behind._

_Don't cry, Syuu-chan. I am here now, with you. Always._

_Thank you for loving me for who I am. Promise that you forgive me._

_I love you, Syuusuke. Forever._

* * *

Past

Those words were always what where left in his mind. Not the orders, and the violence. Not the tearing sensation or the pain. The scrapes of sharp nails against his shoulder, the sting of the bleeding teeth marks on his tender neck, the pulsing in his body from when he was repeatedly punched and squeezed. All of these lay forgotten. He was born to please this boy, he was his slave. And he loved him, he knew that much, he said so. There was no mistaking the caring tone, the fondness in his voice as he spoke in his ear, the loving touch that had him shivering in ecstasy. He cherished every bruise, every scratch, every cut, as much as he did the bruising kisses and chaste lip-smacking that Echizen delivered like a trail down his body, as though to replace those memories.

Echizen would often take pictures, usually of Fuji after he came, his semen splashed in his abdomen, blood smeared all over the creamy thighs while Echizen's own semen flowed down from inside him and into the mattress. Bruises of different colours adorned his features, highlighting the natural paleness of his skin. His face held such an ugly beauty it was hypnotizing. Lips parted in a silent plea for help, skin blotched red from the effort. His eyes remained open, Echizen always made sure they did, and his cheeks were stained with a mixture of salty tears, that flowed unperturbed towards the sides of his face, and the smudged trails of the black, non-waterproof mascara the golden-eyed teen made him put on, little tracks of black that went down to his lower jawbone.

It was breathtakingly sad.

Days grew into weeks, and weeks into months since this sick routine took place for the first time. They continued acting as they always did at school and with their friends, the only difference being that Fuji now changed always before or after everyone had changed, and took to 'mysteriously' using training pants instead of the shorts. For the arms he did not worry, as Echizen always made sure there were no marks there.

Then, during the nights, he would sneak into the room his beautiful boyfriend was in, begging for comfort and love. None of these Echizen actually provided, but the blue-eyed teen never knew otherwise, for he was his first and only love and desire.

* * *

Present

"_Missed me, princess?"_

"_What the- Kevin!"_

"_I missed you, so much. Come on, don't cry or I'll cry too."_

"_I'm not crying, you idiot. You're so skinny, and beaten. Your father?"_

"_Yeah... well, I got away. I can't believe I found you. I thought of you all the time. If not for you, I would've killed the son of a bitch. Hey! Who's that?"_

"_Fuji Syuusuke... he's... well, he's some guy from my school."_

"_Nice to meet you, Fuji-kun. I'm Kevin Smith, Echizen's true love."_

"_That sound's so corny...."_

The voices faded away after that, he wasn't able to recall a word. Out of nowhere, a heart-broken scream pierced the air. The mirror on the wall looked looked in pity at the figure crouched beside the bed, hugging his knees, as he unblinkingly observed the picture before him: a tall, blonde male, sunglasses poised over his head, caressing softly the side of another boy's face. This boy was slightly shorter, with messy black hair and the most gorgeous mossy-golden eyes. But what wretched that painful sound off his chest was the look of adoration- of _love- _in those betraying, unfeeling eyes. The way they looked at each other, happiness written all over their faces, showing a vulnerability in them that made Fuji's tears flow steadily.

Kevin Smith and Echizen Ryoma were in love. Echizen cared for the blond in a way he never did for the handsome prodigy.

Echizen Ryoma didn't love him. He never did.

* * *

Past

Fuji received the message displayed in those gorgeous, menacing eyes: 'don't say a thing'. Like the trained pet he was, he smiled and presented himself as his _senpai. _He felt himself blush despite himself when he became conscious of Kevin's scrutinizing deep blue gaze on him. He knew the boy was evaluating him, trying to decipher the relationship between the two of them. But Fuji wasn't going to lose to him, not in his area of expertise. Especially, not to Kevin. So he put on his best poker face on and excused himself once a satisfied smirk appeared on the blonde.

He had locked himself up after that conversation ended. He had rocked on his heels for hours, thinking hard. Could it be... Could it be that his boyfriend -could he still call him that?- was in love with the American tennis player?. He had heard the fondness in Echizen's voice. He had seen the possessive stance Kevin took in front of the boy. Most of all, though, he noticed how none of those expressions were directed towards him. In fact, after that little scene, he might have as well not been there.

'It wouldn't have done much of a difference,' he bitterly thought, as he clenched his jaw in order to stop the tears from coming.

A fear as he had never felt before enveloped him as he stared wide eyed at the full-length mirror on the opposite wall. He saw his eyes, open wide in shock, a sea of emotions so raucous that he couldn't distinguish the pain from the resignation, or the hurt from the anger. His lips where turned in a pained grimace and he skin looked ashen, except for the slightly blotched patch of red on his cheeks, the result of putting so much effort on calming himself.

Echizen was going to leave him. A terror like none he had ever experience took a hold of him, he quivered in fear and franticly shook his head, hard. No, no no no no- he couldn't, why- when- how- but-

There was no way to talk to him, every thing was unclear and he couldn't understand. He was going insane, he felt like vomiting. A wave of self-loathing, then of anger, the of pain... finally desperation.

Suddenly, the image in the mirror blurred and morphed until an image could be distinguished: in Fuji's mind, it was of two men, one holding the cheek of the other, looking adoringly into his eyes.

He recognized them perfectly well, one had a blond ponytail. The other, a distinguishable mop of emerald-tinted black hair.

From outside the house, a psychotic shriek was heard and a loud, wincing crash sliced the air.

Then, everything was silent.

* * *

(1): Here in Chile, education system is different and I couldn't decide on ages so I put 'school', and you creative readers can either ignore it or read it as whatever you see fit.

**A/N: **Tchan! What the hell happened. If you managed to get all the way down here, I congratulate you, profusely. I know it's a little too harsh, but I found myself being so proud of it I couldn't help but upload it. I realized I put more than one reference unexplained, but that's the whole point of it. Not to fear, though, there will be more to come.

Another thing that might seem confusing is the way I keep drifting off or just suddenly changing topics out of nowhere, but it was the more effective way for me to convey how -again- fucked up Fuji and the situation in general is.

(:

Review if you have something to say and _I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing it. _


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